Anger: The Self-Serving Monster

 

“You cannot control other people’s actions towards you, but you can choose how to react.”

Human emotions are a complex thing, sometimes they hard to read, and at other times they are obvious. We all have them and some of us are better at controlling or hiding them than others. When it comes to reading emotions the levels of ability can vary as well. Some people can walk into a room and pick up on the mood straight away, while others walk in and say completely inappropriate things, making the situation worse because they have completely failed to pick up on people’s emotions.

It is far easier with people we know, for obvious reasons, as you will pick up on traits, and get a good idea as to what is normal. For example, it is easier to notice when a close family member is behaving unusually, because you are with them most of the time, and you know what normal looks like. Some people, however, just have a knack for picking up on people’s emotions, even when they meet them for the first time.

Some emotions run deep such as those that are upsetting, disappointment is another that can remain for some time. Others such as anger may be short-lived, but if they are allowed to, they can fester, causing resentment and deep upset, and anger is the subject of this article. It is an emotion that can cause upset, discomfort, and resentment, and in some cases may lead to violence. Wars have started because of anger. It is a powerful emotion, and yet it is a completely negative one.

Road rage is one of the most common forms of anger, and completely reasonable people can lose their minds when behind the wheel. For some reason, when sitting in a tin box, behind a quarter of an inch of glass, some people become completely irrational and aggressive. A minor incident such as another vehicle pulling out in front of them can lead to rude gestures, and aggressive driving; behaviours which people wouldn’t normally display in a public place. I have been one of those people, and I get a deep feeling of injustice if I do not remonstrate with another driver for not indicating or using their mobile phone behind the wheel.

The irrational thing about all of this is that it serves nobody. When I get angry, I feel that anger for the rest of my journey, and when I arrive at work, I feel stressed. I feel the need to tell others about it, and frankly they are just not interested. It affects my work output because I am stressed. The really stupid thing about it all is that the other driver probably carried on with their day, and didn’t give it a second thought, and they probably didn’t learn an important lesson about the manner of their driving. The only person who my angry outburst affected was me, it ruined my morning, and put me in a bad mood.

“Anger serves nothing but anger itself.”

Sometimes, people commit an act, and it is impossible not to feel anger, and I am not claiming that it is an emotion that you can simply switch off. What I am saying is that it is not productive, or helpful, and can have a negative effect on your own wellbeing. Anger also feeds anger, so getting angry in a confrontational situation can make others feel defensive, it is our body’s natural mechanism when we perceive a situation to be threatening. This can lead to an angry response, which can only serve to make the situation worse.

Anger is a self-serving monster that feeds on other people’s anger and evokes negative emotions in all involved. Next time you are feeling angry, and there is nothing you can do about it, stop and think before you react. You cannot control other people’s actions, but you can choose how you react.

I hope you found this article useful. If you did, please share it with others.

Take care of yourself,

Al